Family Spotlight:
Joe and Mark

My name is Mark Brimhall and my spouse is Joseph Kaufman. I work at the University of Maryland in the Office of Human Relations Programs and Joe works at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

Joe and I met when we were in our late twenties. He had organized a trip to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA, and I was one of the people invited. We became friendly at the park, and he subsequently invited me to a large dinner that he was hosting. Upon my arrival, he told me that others had cancelled, and that it would be just the two of us. Nearly, everyone we know thinks this was a "line," but he insists his story is true. And from there, we began our life together. In May 2007, we will have celebrated eleven years together.”

Joe and I care very much about marriage as an issue, because we want to be able to live lives equal to our heterosexual peers and to protect each other in the event of tragedy or misfortune. But let me be very clear. We want to have the protections of LEGAL marriage (something we currently do not have). Ironically, though the whole marriage issue seems to be framed in a religious light, Joe and I have already been joined in a religious setting with both of our families present and being very supportive. Thus, for us, the religious issue is irrelevant and something of a political "red herring."

Some specific issues that have affected us related to our lack of legal recognition range from large to small. Joe and I are forced to purchase separate health insurance and benefits because we must check the "single" category on these health care forms. Aside from the implicit insult associated with this, we have to pay much more for health care than we otherwise would need to. Moreover, we must consistently file our taxes separately, though this invariably means that we pay more into the tax system than we get back in terms of services. Additionally, I am unable to have Joe join me for other benefits associated with my employment such as tuition remission, access to library and gym facilities, relocation expenses, etcetera.

Succinctly, Joe and I want legal marriage because we want the same privileges and protections that everyone else currently enjoys.

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