Family Spotlight:
Randee and Josh
Randee Wilding and Josh Sullivan live in Columbia, Maryland. They have been in a committed and loving relationship since February, 2001. Randee is a native of Silver Spring, Maryland, and Josh is originally from Missouri.
We met while living in Northern Virginia. Josh was an engineer working for the U.S. Government and Randee was a graphic designer for a large technology company. We fell in love with each other and immediately knew this was "the one". From the very beginning of our relationship, we discussed our desire to raise and nurture a child. After much research and discussion with family and friends, we decided domestic adoption was the best method to extend our family.
Many challenges awaited us on the long road to adoption. The most serious challenge came from the very state in which we lived. Virginia was hostile toward any same-sex couple willing and eager to adopt a child. Our difficult but unmistakable decision was to sacrifice our home and our jobs, moving to Maryland for the promise of a better life and the potential of a two-parent adoption.
Upon arriving in Maryland, we purchased our second home together in Columbia, Maryland. Randee found a new position as a graphic designer with a company headquartered in Maryland. Josh left the Government to work for a large defense contractor, where he works to protect the American people and the security of our nation.
Because we cannot be legally married, upon moving to Maryland, we had to construct a costly legal framework of wills and documents with the help of an attorney. Protecting the life we have built together and ensuring our child is protected financially is very important to us. This legal framework is an attempt at alleviating the anxiety we feel about the security of our family. We do not have the 1,138 rights automatically granted to heterosexual married couples. If one of us were hospitalized, would we be allowed to see each other in a hospital? If we lost a job, can I be covered under the other's insurance? Even though every asset we own-cars, houses, retirement funds are jointly owned in both of our names; we are strangers in the eyes of the law.
Once our legal framework was established, we began the adoption process. We are pursuing a domestic adoption of a newborn boy from the Baltimore area. Working with an adoption agency, we have been subject to background investigations, fingerprints and visits by social workers. At every turn, we have been welcomed and even thanked for our willingness to adopt a child from Maryland who may otherwise not have a home. The long adoption process is filled with uncertainty, but more so for us because we are a same-sex couple without the same rights as a married man and woman.
Our nursery is ready; the grandparents, great-grandparents, and friends are eager to embrace our son. We are preparing as much as possible - daycare, pediatrician, infant care classes and even a college savings plan. We just want the best for our child. We are a real Maryland family and we need the rights, responsibilities and protections afforded to married couples in Maryland.
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