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From the Frederick News-PostChanging lives
Frederick County transgenders speak out
by Nicholas C. Stern
Friday, March 28, 2008
Many people wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at her.
TerriLee Bell grew up as a man, married twice, divorced twice and fathered two children, a son and a daughter.
"At one point, I was living on the fringes, and just wasn't received in society or by my friends," Bell said. Some people categorized her as a freak, not knowing what to make of her.
That began the slow yet steady process, which has taken about 10 years, for Bell to become a woman, an identity she said was never really in doubt.
Bell, 56, will tell her story at the Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays meeting on April 2, at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Frederick.
Transgender, or gender dysphasia, is an umbrella term used to define people who do not fit into ordinary gender roles. Bell said she is not transsexual, and labels herself as an androgyne, having both male and female physical and emotional characteristics.
It's important for people to understand that defining or redefining gender is not about changing sexuality or anatomy, Bell said. "It's what's between your ears, not your legs."
An advocate for transgender issues and rights, Bell is the moderator for a group in Hagerstown and speaks at universities throughout Maryland about her experiences.
"People admire honesty," Bell said. And though she's never had serious problems in her community, there are difficulties Bell said she and others like her experience daily.
Unable to reconcile the difference of who they are with what society expects of them, and fearing rejection from their churches and their families, transgender people have a high rate of suicide, Bell said.
"The internal conflict is radical," she said.
Another fear in revealing her identity, common among transgender people, was the viability of her career, Bell said.
Bell is a small airplane engine mechanic and owns her own repair business in Hagerstown, one of the few such businesses remaining in the country, she said. When she decided about a decade ago it was impossible to hide any longer, she steeled herself, took a picture of herself dressed as a woman, and disseminated it to her clients.
She didn't lose a single customer. In fact, Bell said her clients, who could lose their lives if she makes a mistake, trust her more as a woman.
Dana Kern, 44, who works as a computer technician for JPMorgan Chase in Frederick, said she was fortunate to be employed by a company with a progressive policy toward the transgendered.
After 24 years of marriage, Kern divorced about two years ago. She said she decided to come out and began taking hormonal replacement therapy to aid in the transition from man to woman. Kern also plans to undergo a surgery to change her sex in the near future. As part of her therapy, she has experienced hot flashes, night sweats, breast growth and even monthy mood swings, but said it is all worth it.
She travels around the country speaking to businesses about the benefits of incorporating open corporate policies as a representative for JPMorgan Chase's PRIDE, a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender employee resource network.
Kern, also an activist and a member of Lee's transgender group in Hagerstown, said that when most people look at their reflections, they see a physical image that corresponds to a mental picture they have of themselves.
With transgender people, Kern said, "that mental image doesn't jibe with what we see in the mirror."
Bell and Kern have become involved in lobbying efforts in the state to bring about anti-discrimination laws for the transgendered.
A law passed in Montgomery County in November to protect transgender people from discrimination in housing and employment is being challenged with a ballot referendum.
Bell and Kern are working with other groups such as Equality Maryland, a gay and transgender civil rights organization, to throw out that referendum based on their claims that the bill was misrepresented to signatories and that the validity of some signatures is in question.
There are also two bills in the state legislature they support; SB-976 and HB-1598, which seek to prohibit discrimination against the transgendered in housing, employment and credit. The House bill has been sent to the Health and Government Operations Committee. No action has been taken on the Senate bill.
Taking Action
One of the reasons Lois Jarman decided to discuss transgender issues at next month's Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays in Frederick was that she has gotten calls in the past year from three or four people identifying themselves as transgender in Frederick County Public Schools.
The number of people is not large, but is higher than she expected, Jarman said.
Jarman founded Central Maryland PFLAG, for Washington and Frederick counties, two years ago, when she went to donate the proceeds of a performance her daughter gave at the Cultural Arts Center of Frederick County to PFLAG and discovered a local chapter didn't exist.
The idea of having a PFLAG is to create tolerance and acceptance in the community, she said.
"In the past few years, my eyes have been opened to the number of kids in Frederick County with transgender issues," said Jarman, founder and president of Frederick's PFLAG.
How these students handle their emotional responses to an upcoming surgery or hormonal therapies, fitting in with their families and friends, as well as the bullying and harassment they receive at school, are all important topics of discussion in the group, Jarman said.
"Life in public high school for a transgender teen is pretty tough," Jarman said.